Gō͘-ji̍t-cheh ê kám-sióng
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五日節ê感想 |
| Tēⁿ Ngá-î |
鄭雅怡 |
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Góa tī Bí-kok hit-chām, hoān-nā tú-tio̍h Tâi-oân ê cheh-ji̍t, tông-hiong lóng ōe saⁿ-kap kòe-chiat. Te̍k-pia̍t sī cha-bó͘ tông-hiong lóng ōe chòe-hóe pī-pān hit-ê cheh-ji̍t ê chia̍h-mi̍h. Gō͘-ji̍t-cheh ê sî, tāi-ke tiāⁿ-tio̍h ōe pa̍k chàng. Góa put-sî teh thèng-hāu tâi-oân ê cheh-ji̍t. Tī tha-hiong ī-kok ōe thang kap pîⁿ-pîⁿ tùi Tâi-oân khì--ê saⁿ chhin-kūn, hō͘ góa kám-kak ke̍k-tōa ê un-loán.
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我tī美國hit-chām,凡若tú著台灣ê節日，同鄉攏會相kap過節。特別是查某同鄉攏會做伙備辦hit個節日ê食物。五日節ê時，大家定著會縛粽。我不時teh聽候台灣ê節日，tī他鄉異國會thang kap平平tùi台灣去--ê相親近，hō͘我感覺極大ê溫暖。 |
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Góa chiok ham-bān pa̍k chàng. Pa̍t-lâng pa̍k ê chàng ū-lêng ū-kak. Góa pa̍k ê chàng choân-jiân bô hêng-thé, chhin-chhiūⁿ chi̍t-oân thái-ko-mi̍h ēng tek-hio̍h kap soh-á khún--teh. Chū-chhan ê sî-chūn, chin-chiàⁿ bô chi̍t-lâng tháu góa pa̍k ê chàng khì chia̍h. Góa ko͘-put-chiong ka-kī chia̍h. Koh tiām-tiām oàn-thàn, liân bah-chàng siⁿ-chòe bái, mā ōe bô lâng ài.
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我足ham-bān縛粽。別人縛ê粽有菱有角，我縛ê粽全然無形體，親像一丸thái-ko物用竹葉kap索仔綑--teh。聚餐ê時陣，真正無一人tháu我縛ê粽去食。我姑不chiong家己食，koh恬恬怨嘆，連肉粽生做bái,mā會無人ài。 |
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Kap pa̍t-ê cha-bó͘ tông-hiong pa̍k chàng ê sî, tāi-ke lóng ná chòe khang-khè ná khai-káng. Hit-chūn tông-hiong-hōe--ni̍h chhin-chhiūⁿ góa hiah chió-hòe ê hū-lú iáu chin chió. In ê nî-hòe tāi-khài lóng kàu tiong-nî. In lóng ōe kóng-tio̍h ka-kī ê ang-sài, gín-á, tī gōa-kok chia̍h thâu-lō͘ ê kan-lân, chòe ka-têng chú-hū ê sin-khó͘ kap ut-chut, í-ki̍p in chiām-chiām soe-thè ê chheng-chhun kap sin-thé. Góa ná chòe ná thiaⁿ, lóng thiaⁿ kàu hī-khang phak-phak. Cha-bó͘-lâng ê ōe-tôe khah Ńg-sèng, mā khah ōe chhiok-tōng-tio̍h kò-jîn ê kám-chêng. Cha-po͘ tông-hiong khah ài kóng chèng-tī, ta̍k-pái lóng piān-kàu chiok kín-tiuⁿ, chhì-kek. Ū sî-chūn chiah-ê tông-hiong a-chí hoat-hiān góa mā chē tī in tiong-kan, chiū ōe tùi góa kóng, “Pháiⁿ-sè. Goán kóng--ê kap lí ê nî-lêng bô ha̍h. Lí tāi-khài thiaⁿ bē ji̍p-ní.” Kî-si̍t góa chiok ài thiaⁿ in kóng ka-kī ê sim-sū. Thiaⁿ liáu koh thiaⁿ iā bōe siān.
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Kap別個查某同鄉縛粽ê時，大家攏那做空課那開講。Hit陣同鄉會--ni̍h親像我hiah少歲ê婦女iáu真少，in ê年歲大概攏到中年。In攏會講著家己ê翁婿、囡仔，tī外國食頭路ê艱難，做家庭主婦ê辛苦kap鬱卒，以及in漸漸衰退ê青春kap身體。我那做那聽，攏聽到耳空phak-phak。查某人ê話題較軟性，mā較會觸動著個人ê感情。查甫同鄉較愛講政治，逐擺攏辯到足緊張、刺激。有時陣chiah-ê同鄉阿姐發現我mā坐tī in中間，就會對我講：「歹勢。阮講--ê kap你ê年齡無合，你大概聽bē入耳。」其實我足愛聽in講家己ê心事，聽了koh聽也bōe倦。 |
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Chia-ê tông-hiong a-chí m̄-nā kà góa pa̍k bah-chàng, koh kà góa chōe-chōe chú-chia̍h ê hoat-tō͘. In chai-iáⁿ góa tú-tú chhut-gia̍p, kiat-hun, iáu bōe hiáu-tit chú-chhài, chian ke-N̄g liân N̄g-khak mā ōe lo̍h-tiáⁿ. Chiū kā in ê pì-koat thoân-siū hō͘ góa. Ū ê kà góa ēng hang-lô͘ “hang” chhài-thâu-kóe kap tiⁿ-kóe. Ū ê lâng kà-góa koàn ian-chhiân, chhoe bah-oân kap mī-piáⁿ. Góa lóng chiàu in ê chhài-toaⁿ chi̍t-hāng chi̍t-hāng “si̍t-giām”--kòe. Teh-beh tńg-lâi Tâi-oân ê sî, góa mā kā hiah ê chhài-toaⁿ khoán ji̍p hêng-lí, lia̍h in chòe bat tī Bí-kok tòa--kòe ê kì-liām. Mā ēng in thang siàu-liām tông-hiong tùi góa ê chiàu-kò͘.
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Chia-ê同鄉阿姐m̄若教我縛肉粽，koh教我濟濟煮食ê法度。In知影我tú-tú出業、結婚，iáu bōe曉得煮菜，煎雞卵連卵殼mā會落鼎，就kā in ê祕訣傳授hō͘我。有--ê教我用烘爐「烘」菜頭粿kap甜粿；有ê人教我灌腌腸，炊肉丸kap麵餅。我攏照in ê菜單一項一項「實驗」--過。Teh-beh轉來台灣ê時，我mā kā hiah-ê菜單款入行李，掠in做bat tī美國tòa--過ê紀念。Mā用in thang數念同鄉對我ê照顧。 |
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Gō͘-ji̍t-cheh tông-hiong-hōe pān chū-hōe. Thèng-hāu chèng-lâng chia̍h-pá, beh gô͘-lo̍k ê sî, tek-khak ū lâng ōe chhiùⁿ “Hông-hun ê kò͘-hiong”. Ta̍k-pái hiah-ê jī-saⁿ-cha̍p-nî bōe tit thang tńg-khì Tâi-oân--ê, lóng chhiùⁿ te̍k-pia̍t tōa-siaⁿ. Hō͘ góa thiaⁿ-tio̍h chin thè in m̄-kam. Jī-saⁿ-cha̍p-nî chêng in mā kap góa kāng-khoán sī tan-sûn ê liû-ha̍k-seng, ná ōe piàn-chiâⁿ chòe o͘-miâ-toaⁿ leh? Sî-kan kòe-óng, in ê pìn-piⁿ í-keng chiām-chiām piàn-pe̍h. In mā chá chiū tī chit-ê gōa-kok tèng-kun. Sīm-chì ji̍p Bí-kok ê kok-che̍k. Chóng-sī tùi in sin-chiūⁿ iáu khòaⁿ ōe tio̍h kó͘-chá Tâi-oân-lâng ê kám-chêng kap sèng-chit. Bōe tit saⁿ-kìⁿ ê kò͘-hiong kiám chin-chiàⁿ ná in só͘-chhiùⁿ--ê hiah-ni̍h kó͘-chui, bí-lē?
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五日節同鄉會辦聚會，聽候眾人食飽，beh娛樂ê時，的確有人會唱「黃昏ê故鄉」。逐擺二、三十年bōe得thang轉去台灣--ê,攏唱特別大聲，Hō͘我聽著真替in m̄甘。二、三十年前in mā kap我共款是單純ê留學生，那會變成做烏名單leh？時間過往，in ê鬢邊已經漸漸變白。In mā早就tī這個外國釘根，甚至入美國ê國籍。總是tùi in身上iáu看會著古早台灣人ê感情kap性質。Bōe得相見ê故鄉kiám真正那in所唱--ê hiah-ni̍h古錐、美麗？ |
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Poaⁿ tńg-lâi Tâi-oân í-āu, góa hoat-kak chia ê jîn-chêng-bī ná-lâi ná po̍h. Nî-cheh ê khì-hun mā bān-bān bô--khì. Góa koh ūi-tio̍h saⁿ-tǹg, mî-ji̍t thoa-bôa. Chit kúi-nî kòe gō͘-ji̍t-cheh, góa lóng bô koh te̍k-pia̍t hoaⁿ-hí. Ha̍k-seng sî-tāi ê jia̍t-chêng í-keng hō͘ seng-oa̍h ê tāng-tàⁿ bôa-chīn. Góa tùi Tâi-oân ê sit-bōng mā chi̍t-ji̍t pí chi̍t-ji̍t khah chhim. Chi̍t-tōaⁿ kî-kan góa sòa tiāⁿ-tiāⁿ bāng-tio̍h Bí-kok. Ū chi̍t-mî bāng-kìⁿ png-á-hio̍h teh lak ê sî, góa koh tò-tńg-khì hia, kap tông-hiong saⁿ kap chòe lé-pài. Cheng-sîn ê sî-chūn, góa ê bīn-téng iáu ū ba̍k-sái. Ū chi̍t-ji̍t ē-po͘, tī hā-pan ê lō͘-tô͘-tiong, góa thiaⁿ-tio̍h “khah-lá-o͘-kheh” teh pàng “Hông-hun ê kò͘-hiong.” Khiā-tī chhia-ian kap thô͘-hún iāⁿ-iāⁿ-poe ê ke-lō͘, góa thiaⁿ chit-tè koa pàng-soah, khiok bô tām-po̍h ê kám-tōng. Kan-ta mn̄g ka-kī, góa ê kò͘-hiong sī tī toh-ūi?
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搬轉來台灣以後，我發覺chia-ê人情味那來那薄，年節ê氣氛mā慢慢無--去。我koh為著三頓，暝日拖磨。這幾年過五日節，我攏無koh特別歡喜。學生時代ê熱情已經hō͘生活ê重擔磨盡，我對台灣ê失望mā一日比一日較深。這段期間我煞定定夢著美國，有一暝夢見楓仔葉teh落ê時，我koh倒轉去hia,kap同鄉相kap做禮拜。精神ê時陣，我ê面頂iáu有目屎。有一日e晡，tī下班ê路途中，我聽著卡拉OK teh放「黃昏ê故鄉」。企tī車煙kap塗粉iāⁿ-iāⁿ飛ê街路，我聽這塊歌放煞，卻無淡薄ê感動。Kan-ta問家己：我ê故鄉是tī toh位？ |
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Kin-nî ê gō͘-ji̍t-cheh teh-beh kàu lah. Tāi-khài góa ōe kap pêng-siông-sî chi̍t-iūⁿ, tiām-tiām tō͘-kòe chit-ji̍t. M̄-kú sim-lāi ê gî-būn iû-goân tī-teh: Góa só͘ him-bō͘ ê kò͘-hiong tàu-té tī toh-ūi? Si-jîn Tân Bêng-jîn bat kóng kòe, “Tâi-oân-lâng siⁿ-sèng ài liû-lōng.” Góa m̄-chai ka-kī kiám ū-iáⁿ ài phiau-lōng. Chóng-sī góa iáu teh chhiat-chhiat chhiau-chhōe chi̍t-ê chin-chiàⁿ ê kò͘-hiong, chi̍t-ê lí-sióng ê kok-tō͘-----tī hiah góa ê jio̍k-thé kap lêng-hûn lóng ōe tit-tio̍h an-hioh kap óa-khò. Bô koh sì-kòe cháu-chông, kiaⁿ-hiâⁿ bô-tiāⁿ. Kò͘-hiong m̄-nā sī góa chhut-sì, tōa-hàn ê tē-hng, ài koh chiâⁿ-chòe chi̍t-ê ta̍t-tit góa kià-thok kám-chêng ê só͘-chāi.
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今年ê五日節teh-beh到--lah。大概我會kap平常時一樣，恬恬渡過這日。M̄-kú心內ê疑問猶原tī--teh:我所欣慕ê故鄉到底tī toh位？詩人陳明仁bat講過「台灣人生性愛流浪」，我m̄知家己kiám有影愛漂浪。總是我iáu teh切切chhiau-chhōe一個真正ê故鄉，一個理想ê國度----- tī hia我ê肉體kap靈魂攏會得著安歇kap倚靠，無koh四界走chông、驚惶無定。故鄉m̄若是我出世、大漢ê地方，ài koh成做一個值得我寄託感情ê所在。 |
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(Tâi-bûn Bóng-pò tē 8 kî, 1997 nî 5 goe̍h)
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（台文罔報第8期，1997年5月） |
